As we look at the shape of things to come in education, it's important to examine not only what students will need in the next fifty years or so, but what we as the adults in their lives can do to influence their positive decision-making. We know that children do know how to play and discover on their own (especially when they don't have television, ipods, and video games to anesthetize them into using fewer brain cells). Children today like those of us who are 35 years of age or older (before 1972) want to be actively engaged in their lives and in the lives of others.
Today's students may still blindly give their allegiences to celebrities and musical artists, just like we did, but they can smell deceit a mile away, particularly from adults--call it the Holden Caulfied Factor. If you don't believe me, ask them what they think about those celebs, really. I would argue that children today have a good grasp on the sincerity of the adults.
Being able to have good instincts about character issues is something that can be built and fostered. It's not just "stranger danger." It's an assortment of good, rational decisions that some times comes from making bad, irrational ones. We learn by making mistakes and trusting our gut.
Additionally, even though students are taking more and more standardized tests these days, which prepares them to be great within a facistic regime ("Calling all future Joseph Stalins"), children understand that adults are prone to errors in judgment and make just as many mistakes as they do, sometimes even more. Students even make allowances for adults making mistakes. I wished that we could do the same for each other.
This post is an appreciative one about helping to raise children who know the difference between right and wrong, despite what the television news programs might tell you. It's also about having children trust their instincts and wade through the mountains of information that we never, ever had to deal with as youngsters.
This blog, on the other hand, is a little like memoir--of the hardening concrete variety. Hopefully, I can show this in time. Memoir, as opposed to autobiography, is where you stand now, not where you hope to be. It shifts. It's real. It's funny. It's pathetic. Here is my pathetic appeal.
One bit of pathos claims we have so much more information coming our way saying our students aren't doing all that well. These are the students in the United States. Some of the statistices about teen suicide and drop-out rates would leave us to believe that children are despondent, on prozac, or worse.
What can we do as adults to help children manage their lives better?
*Well, we can listen. I mean really hear the anxiety and distrust some kids have for what they see as hypocrisy in those of us who are supposed to be leading them to be better people. We can also listen for the joy underneathe some of that anxiousness, too.
*We can guide them to think about their thinking. This is called metacritical thinking or metacognition. It's not always about what do they want to be when they grow up. Let the children in your lives know that they have a brain by asking them questions that challenge their assumptions now (in this moment) and that indicates that you know they have a thought process that can lead them to making great choices (later).
*Spend time with the children in your lives by just being present. If they see that you are always on the go, then they will think that being in constant motion is the way to be. Also, as Mel Levine says, "We ask children to spend more time with other children (i.e., in after school sports, summer camps, activities, etc.). They should be spending more time with loving and caring adults who will help them navigate their way through these tough years." Amen, brother.
*Last, but certainly not least, tell the children in your lives what you truly think about the choices you have made. Let them know that you are fallible and imperfect. It's okay to show them how you really are rather than what you'd like to be.
In conclusion, I've listed two books below that might help you to understand the kids in your life. Good luck and please know that someone is depending on you to be better.
Namaste,
Brian Thomas
